Having established that masturbation is a sin not unto death for singles and a marriage killer for those who are married lets talk about why we don’t fantasize about our wives. I have all ready shown how porn is a lie and that while physically stimulating there is nothing redeeming about it. What will it also cause? If we are wanting to live a life of righteousness and not one of sinfulness should we not be looking only at that which is pure and holy? Our marriages are pure and holy. God invented marriage and He sees it as a very good thing. We should no more be ashamed of our marriages than we are about our Lord. What we do and what we say come from the heart. Jesus said in Mark 7; 21-23, “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornication’s, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.” So we need a heart change.
He also said the eye is the window to the soul (we could say heart here for our purposes) and if the
eye is dark how dark is the soul/heart. If we are constantly looking at that which is evil how can we ever hope to be good? What we do comes from our thoughts our thoughts come from what we put into our brain through the eyes and ears. A once in a while look at sin that is not a habit is probably not going to affect us much. But pornography is more addicting than heroin. How do I know? I am a porn addict. I have to stay as far away from it as humanly possible. It is the sin that will trip me up every time. I have developed recently, with the help of my lovely and beautiful wife, defenses to keep it at bay. Enough about me.
The wife you have may not be perfect and she may not be a glamour girl any more or may never have been but she is still a woman with emotions and feelings and needs. Every little girl wants to feel safe and every woman wants the same thing. Our wives need first and foremost to know that they are safe and that we have provided a safe place for them to dwell and they need the number one place in your thoughts and life. No other place is good enough for them. There have been times and I think that now is one of them when my Darlene has thought she is not number one in my thoughts or life. She is wrong. When I wake up in the morning and have my devotions I pray first and foremost for her and her protection. I pray for her in her work and in her time of fellowship with her friends. I try to talk to her every day and tell her that I love her. I am not always as gentle as I should or could be when we talk and I have to apologize to her. But that does not reduce her respect for me in her eyes it makes her feel safe knowing that she is loved enough to be treated gently.
We, all of us men, have a lovely wife who we need to ensure that we have a good relationship with so that we will be able to enjoy her in the marriage bed. Women need the stimulation of conversation and relating to be put in the mood by her man. Even the husband that she has pledged herself to only will have to romance her or she will think that sex with him is the next step up from rape. (Then we roll over and go to sleep.) So having to make conversation and give of ourselves is hard work.
When we come home from the battles of the day all we want to do is rest. How do you feel when your wife is working as well? She has to come through the door and is just as tired as you and cook and take care of babies and, and, and, and,…..while we sit on the couch in front of the TV or read the news paper. How fair is that? Then when it is time for bed we want sex. Sex is the last thing on her mind. So we are frustrated and angry and looking for some lovin’. Where do we turn? To that which is easy and cheap. That thing is not real it has never been real and it will never be real. That thing is our fantasy life of cheap thrills and easy sex. It is called Pornography.
If there are any ladies reading this I want you to know some thing also. NEVER BRING MODERN SECULAR ROMANCE VIDEOS INTO YOUR HOME!!!!! NEVER!!! Would you like to know why? I am glad you asked. There was a very good movie a few years ago that came out titled “Maid in Manhattan.” Did you see it? One scene ruined the entire movie for me. When Miss Jlow ended up in the bed with the male lead unmarried of course. Even if the people on the screen are married in the movie graphic sex scenes give your husband thoughts about that woman even if he does not want them. They are seared into his memory. Do you really want your husband thinking about a naked starlet during the day? Or do you want him thinking of you and you only?
In porn there is no tenderness or gentleness there is only hard thoughts and evil desires. There is no modesty or purity. Women are treated like objects and terrible things are done to them as they act as though it were enjoyable. The pain they are in has left most of them numb to it and they even justify it in the name of “freedom of expression.” When the women in the porn industry are finally used up they are forgotten and tossed aside like a used condom. When they are wounded and hurting and completely vulnerable many times they are killed or they disappear. This is the reality of porn and we who fantasize about the things we see there to gratify ourselves are perpetuating their pain.
Paul said that the evil done in the dark by people in this world should not be spoken of. He said that it is shameful to speak of the things that they do in the dark. If you have been reading this thing from the very beginning you will recognize the term the devil’s back yard. Porn is the devil’s back yard. He has taken the beautiful gift of sex for husbands and wives and turned it into a perversion through pornography. We would not want our wives or daughters or mothers involved in porn would we? We also would not want any one to catch us viewing it would we? Pornography will break you just as surly as will alcoholism, drug addiction, or anything else you put before the taking care of your wife and family.
So the lure of porn into a thought life of sin is where these thoughts seem to come from. There are of course the occasional forays into the “undressing with your eyes” or as Jesus put it looking upon a woman with lust in your eye thereby committing adultery with her in your heart. These things, all of these things and the sex soaked society that we have built are all apart of the reasons that we do not fantasize about our wives. Why would we fantasize about that woman with the culers in her hair, wearing the frumpy dress, dirty hands and face because she has been taking care of our house all day? When we can go into the room with the computer and check out “Debbie doing Dallas” and get our “fix.” (Could the girls clean up a bit before we come home? Sure but why should she? Give her a reason to look foreward to your home coming)
We must guard our thoughts as Paul told us by bringing every thought under subjection. We do this with the Word of God and with prayer. I have noticed that I am far less tempted to sin at all when I have been reading my Bible and praying regularly.
REAL MEN, stand up and be counted! Let the earth and the United States see real men of honor and dignity who will repent of their sins and turn from their wicked ways and seek the God of heaven and LOVE THEIR WIVES!
God Bless you all.
In His Service
A Real Man
